What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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