where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
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If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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