Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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