3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
another moral hangover. fuck.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
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Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
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We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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