I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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