We won't sleep together?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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