i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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