idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
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When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
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Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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