drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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