med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
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He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
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We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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