Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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