This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
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I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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