I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
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in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
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it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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