We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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