You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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