Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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