he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize