I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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