Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize