Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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