my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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