Kiss
Puke
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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