When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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