I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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