we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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