How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
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After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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