Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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