i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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