The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
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