come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
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And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
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I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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