i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize