I wish I could teleport
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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