I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize