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ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
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