Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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