He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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