Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
tell me about the fingering
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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