So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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