I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize