I'm lost and stupid without you.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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