you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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