did you get engaged???
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
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rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
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That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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