MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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