Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
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How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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