I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize