I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize