well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize