I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
one two three fourrrrnication!
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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