My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize