are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Alive.
So much puke
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize